M5: Crusaders Suck

               One day I was just chillin with my homie Alder. We were just sittin there at this new place that had just opened up called "Killer Chopped Liver" As I was saying we were just sitting there we had done nothing wrong, so why would we be punished. Well there are these really stupid people called Crusaders who "fight in the name of god" That's a load of crap. You have probobly heard about the Crusades how the Christians and the Muslims faught over Jeruslm their Holy City's. Well what about the Jews. It's holy to us and we lived there, but since we have no army we can't protect ourselves. As I was saying we were eating when I heard a man screaming and a war starting. Me and Alder had to get out of their and fast.
               We were running for our lives, luckily I had another friend named Barsky who was supposed to meat us at the resturant, but came right when we needed him. He was huge! He was like our shield as we ran. No one could get arund him, they could barely stay on their feet when he hit them. e were running so fast we thought no one would catch us, but then something terrible happened. I tripped. I called out to Alder so he could help me, he turned around and told me that he was actually a Christian...
               I was devastated. I was seething with anger. He turned around and  took a knife out of his pocket to stab Barsky. I tried to warn him, but it was too late and I had been captured by those stupid Christians. I ran and hid in a shack, I knew the Christians hated Jews. I quickly looked up what they did to Jews on my iPhone, it didn't look so hot for me. They killed you and I liked my life, I want to be alive, but right now Christians AND Muslims hate me. It's me against the world, it's time to bring out my inner Rambo.
               I went and gathered my resources. I went and beat up a guard and put on his uniform I quickly wrote a note in Latin that said "Note to see General Alder" (Know you know who I am after) The guy I gave the note to believed me and let me through. When I walked through the doors, these guards weren't as dumb and told me I looked a lot like a wanted man and they held up a poster that read "Austin Powers WANTED Dead or Alive" I told them I had no idea who that was and they let me through (The reason they probably let me through is because I had a tricky fake mustache on) When I came in the room Alder was prepared, he had a sword and I had a stick. The fight of the century was about to happen.
               I lunged at him, but he simply broke my stick, so I took out my extra sword (I probably should have used the sword first, but whatever) He simply lunged at me and cut my face. I was now singeing with anger. He had betrayed me and almost killed me 2 times. I was about to finish the deal. I stabbed him in the heart. As soon as I did that a guard walked in I put his hand on the sword and told the guard that he killed himself and he believed me (Christians have REALLY dumb guards) While the guard was piecing it all together I flashed out into my own time and I accidentally made it make me go back to school. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!